


The Price of Good Karma

by catwrites



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Chuck Lives, M/M, Magical Realism, Post-Operation Pitfall (Pacific Rim)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-25 05:49:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12029466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catwrites/pseuds/catwrites
Summary: Karma owes Chuck, and she doesn't like to be in debt.(or an AU where everyone is varying levels of magical.)





	The Price of Good Karma

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know. 
> 
> Not beta'd. Uh. Yeah.

There are different types of magic, and everyone has a little bit of one or another. Magic is everywhere. It's only rare for someone to know about theirs and then be able to wield it.

Chuck runs on Karma, and he's strong with it. He can feel it under his skin, warm and calm. He can use his at will, if he wants, and he can sense what types other people have. Only those who are strong enough. There’s aren’t a lot of people out on the street he can sense. Even in the shatterdome, there are only a few with enough magic for him to pick out. 

Like Newt works on Luck. Luck is an interesting one because you only have so much before you run out. Newt has a lot left still, so Chuck can't really fathom how much he must have started with.

Raleigh. Raleigh has Wish magic. Wish magic is the worst kind. It's unlimited, but it always comes at a price. There's always a twist. There's a reason genie legends are the way they are. You have to word it just right, have to know just how to phrase it to get it to work out with minimal damage. Raleigh smells like fermented magic and guilt. Magic that’s built up and been left to fester. Chuck has a hunch about when it misfired on him, but he isn't sure about the specifics. Despite popular opinion, he isn’t cruel enough to ask. 

Stacker also has Wish and his price is killing him slowly. Chuck can sense it happening. There’s no question about what he used his on. He wonders if Mako knows.

Karma though. Karma is fickle. What you put in, you get out. You can build it up, save it for later, and cash it in on something big. Chuck has been saving his since he was a kid. He used it once or twice on little things. Helped his mom pick up stuff she spilled, won a game a dice. Little things. When the first Kaiju showed up, though, he started storing it up. 

When all the lights have gone red in Striker, and he’s saying, “It was a pleasure serving with you, sir”, he can feel his magic rolling under his skin like boiling water. 

As he reaches up to press the button to detonate, he wonders what happens to all the magic that never gets used.

\----

Karma always repays her debts. His mother told him this once, holding his hand as they walked along the beach. If he’s going to have any of them, she had said, she’s glad he has Karma. She always stressed to him the importance of using his magic right. In the same way that Karma repays her debts, she’ll come to collect if he uses what isn’t his. He was never good at listening to his parents, but this lesson he takes to heart.

His mother had Wish magic. He felt her use it on him, and on his father, when Scissure hit Sydney. 

Wish magic always comes at a cost.

\----

He can feel pieces of himself all along the ocean floor, carried away by the explosion and then the currents after. He calls those pieces back. He pulls himself together as best he can, filling in the gaps with sand and rocks, and then binds it all together with seaweed. There’s salt water flowing through his veins, and filling his lungs. He doesn’t have an elemental bone in his body, and everyone knows the Ocean never gives up her dead without a fight. This shouldn’t work, by all accounts, but Karma always repays her debts.

The water flowing through his body goes haematic with each stuttering beat. The water in his lungs, that will have to wait until he gets to land. 

He breaks the surface with a gasp. Clear, uninterrupted blues as far as the eye can see. But no, suddenly, there’s a boat coming. He uses the strength he can spare to wave them down.

One of the fishing trawler’s crewmen hauls him over the side, and he collapses on the deck as soon as he’s on board. 

_We are now squared,_ a voice whispers in his ear. 

Chuck nods, eyes closed. People chatter around him, and someone kneels at his side.

“You are Chuck Hansen?”

Chuck coughs, water gurgling in his lungs. “I am.” 

He can feel his magic receding. He feels bereft, all of his store burned out of his blood, out of his bones. He has a feeling his magic will never work the same again, but he’s alive. Or, some semblance of it.

\----

It takes him two days to get back to the Shatterdome. He has no ID, no money, no phone. One of the men on the boat was kind enough to loan him some clothes, which he had been without when they hauled him up.

It’s a long, tedious process, getting back. He coughs up water whenever he over exerts himself, and his heartbeat stutters in his chest. His bones seem to grind, like there are grains of sand in-between. He aches, and he’s always so fucking cold. His hands shake with it. The temperature is much lower at the bottom of the Pacific, after all.

The guards stare at him as he tries to get in.

“Look,” he finally says, trying to keep control of his temper after they ask him again for ID, “I’ve had a long couple of days. If you could just let me in, that’d be ace.”

“Why don’t you wait here, sir, while we call the marshal.”

For a brief moment, Chuck thinks they mean Pentecost. He came back, so why couldn’t Stacker? Then he’s hearing his father’s voice over the walkie, and it makes sense. Herc is a perfect replacement, and he doubts Stacker’s magic could overcome itself to piece him back together.

“What do you bloody mean you can’t tell me what’s going on?”

“It’ll be easier if you see it for yourself, sir,” the guard says hesitantly. 

“Let me talk to him,” Chuck demands, and takes the handset from the guard’s slack grip without waiting for permission.

“Dad.”

Herc is quiet for a beat. “I’ll be right there.”

\----

His father hugs him tight, making his bones creak warningly, but Chuck holds on. There are things he’s going to do right this time. This is one of them.

“How?” 

Chuck shrugs as much as he can in the fold of Herc’s arms. “Karma always repays her debts.”

Herc laughs, voice gruff with emotion. “Your mother always did say Karma was the best.”

Herc immediately drags him through to medical, where the doctors hem and haw over all his readings.

“Your body temperature is dangerously low,” one says, looking at the thermometer doubtfully. 

Another offers, “Your blood pressure is extremely low as well.”

Chuck, at the end of his rope for patience, snaps, “I spent over a day in pieces at the bottom of the ocean. What do you bloody expect?”

The doctors stare at him, a range of disapproval and disbelief. 

“We aren’t entirely sure how you’re functioning at full capacity, but your readings and vitals are all over the place.”

Chuck snorts sarcastically. “No shit. Now that we have that established, am I free to go to my bunk? I could sleep for a year.”

Herc shares a look with the doctors.

“No,” Chuck says.

“Chuck.”

“Oh, come on.”

His father places a hand on his shoulder. “I’d feel better if you let them monitor you at least overnight.”

Chuck sighs dramatically and flops back onto the exam table.

“Thanks, son. I’m sure the docs will at least let you have Max visit for a little bit.”

The way Herc says it, he isn’t asking, and the doctors helpfully stay quiet. 

Chuck guess that will have to do.

\----

Chuck wakes up with a start. It’s dark in medical, but even before he opens his eyes, he knows he’s not alone and he knows exactly who is in the room with him.

He hadn’t been sure if after he used all his magic he’d still be able to sense it in others. Raleigh still reeks of magic unused. He’ll take what he can get.

As Chuck’s eyes adjust, he sees Raleigh sitting in a chair next to the bed.

“Hey Ray,” Chuck says, sitting up as he rubs at his eyes.

Raleigh jumps. “I didn’t mean to…”

Chuck raises an eyebrow. He isn’t sure if Raleigh didn’t mean to get caught or didn’t mean to something else, but Chuck lets it go.

“It’s okay. There’s worse company.”

Raleigh looks surprised, like he doesn’t quite believe that Chuck thinks so.

“I just wanted to… We didn’t think you were alive. We would have looked. I don’t want you to think we willfully left you behind. If we had known…”

Chuck shakes his head, and reaches out without thinking and puts his hand on Raleigh’s where they’re twisted in his lap. 

“You weren’t wrong.”

Raleigh looks at him, before he says, “Your magic smells wrong, like an electrical fire.”

Chuck shrugs, and his shoulder grinds because it’s still not quite right. “Burned myself out. Drained it all.”

“Magic has a price, Chuck.”

Chuck shakes his head slowly, and says what is becoming his catch phrase, “Karma always repays her debt.”

Raleigh gives him a look.

Chuck hasn’t been known for his tact. He may have run on Karma, but he knew how to toe the line. He knew how to work it to his favor, but now he’s empty and he can’t feel where he stands with her anymore. He still coughs up water, and he never thinks he’ll be warm again in his life. Maybe his magic had a price after all, but it’s not the same. 

“We have different types of magic, Raleigh. Mine doesn’t work the same as yours. Or it didn’t, at least. Not sure I have anything left.”

Raleigh looks at him, expression hard to read. “Lucky you, then.”

\----

Overnight in medical turns into a week. The doctors still can’t figure out his vitals. They aren’t stabilizing, and he doesn’t help his case when he has a coughing fit during a friendly argument with Raleigh over the jaeger refits. Raleigh looks alarmed, watching him hack up water. One of the doctors decides to listen to his lungs.

“You have fluid in there,” the doctor says, frowning.

Chuck doesn’t say ‘I know’. He doesn’t say ‘Karma did what she had to’. He definitely doesn’t say ‘the Ocean doesn’t give up her dead’. He just nods tiredly.

He puts up with it because he knows it’ll be hard for them to believe that this is how he’ll be now. This is his price.

Raleigh haunts medical the entire time Chuck is there. Like he owes Chuck something. Company or friendship or both. Chuck doesn’t ask him to leave, and Raleigh never asks if he can stay.

Raleigh being there means Mako occasionally visits. He doesn’t know what Mako is. She gives off a weird signature. Like multiple types of magic blending together. Chuck doesn’t know if that’s possible, and he doesn’t ask, either.

She looks at him, sharp-eyed. Like she knows all his secrets and everything he did to pull himself back into a shape that could sustain life. The closest she ever gets to acknowledging it is saying, “You smell like brine.”

Chuck shrugs. “Yeah.”

She nods, and that’s the end of it.

\----

When the doctors eventually release him, with great reluctance, nothing about his condition has changed from when he first arrived. 

“You have all the symptoms of pneumonia, but nothing we did worked to reduce those symptoms.” 

Chuck nods because he expected as much. He knows that there’s no easy cure for this, if there is one at all.

Raleigh finds him in his bunk just before lunch.

“I went to medical and they told me they let you out this morning,” Raleigh says, looking uncomfortable standing in the open door to Chuck’s room.

“Well, come on-“

“Do you want to-“ 

They stop and stare at each other. 

Chuck motions to Raleigh. “You first.”

He doesn’t know what this is. He doesn’t know what Raleigh expects, or why he keeps coming around, but he doesn’t have the luxury of turning away someone who seems to be offering friendship. The number of friends he has can be counted on one hand.

He’s been lonely, before, but he can’t handle the loneliness on of top of everything else.

Raleigh rubs the back of his neck, before smiling. “I was going to see if you wanted to get lunch with me? Now that you’re free of medical and can pick food with actual taste.”

Chuck grins. “Yeah, sure mate. Let me just-“

He gestures vaguely over his shoulder and motions for Raleigh to step in after him so he can dig around for something to wear.

He pulls on a long sleeve shirt, for once jealous of Raleigh’s stupid sweaters. With how he’s just always so cold now, he could really go for the thicker material all Raleigh’s silly jumpers seem to be made out of.

Raleigh eyes his outfit choice with furrowed brows.

“What?” Chuck snaps uncomfortably, tugging on his leather jacket over the top.

Raleigh shakes his head. “Nothing.”

Chuck shrugs, trying to pretend he isn’t bothered. “Well, let’s go then, yeah?”

Raleigh trails along, looking distracted. Chuck leaves him to his thoughts.

\----

The cold always settles in worst first thing in the morning. When he has to drag himself out of all the blankets he's requested, and the residual heat leaves his body the chill will settle deep into his bones. He’s never been a morning person, and now he’s even less inclined to climb out of bed.

He tries not to be snappish with people around the shatterdome as a result, but he’s never been known for his levelheadedness. 

The tech that trips over Max hasn’t done anything that he himself hasn’t done countless times. Max just gets underfoot. It’s no one’s fault. But Chuck is cold, and his heart is stuttering in his chest the way it occasionally does, and he’s not in the mood for this. 

“Hey, watch it, will ya?” Chuck snaps, squatting down to run his hand over Max’s head reassuringly. 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Hansen. I didn’t see him,” the tech says quickly.

Chuck takes a deep breath, knowing he’s being unreasonable and trying to calm his temper. “It’s okay. He’s fine.”

“I really am sorry,” the man repeats, and looks ready to continue on, until Raleigh appears at Chuck’s side.

“Everything okay?” Raleigh asks the man, glancing down at Chuck.

Chuck is pathetically relieved to see him. 

“Everything’s fine. Max just likes to get under people’s feet. Don’t ya?” 

The tech takes that as his dismissal, and bustles away. Chuck sighs, and rubs at his temple.

“I’m trying,” he tells Raleigh, not bothering to explain what he means.

Raleigh doesn’t ask. “I know you are. Why don’t we go get some coffee?”

Chuck nods, standing up. His traitorous heart lurches in his chest, that stuttering beat double timing now. He takes a second to breathe, staring down blindly at Max.

“Alright?” 

His hands are shaking, but he nods again anyway. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

\----

Chuck spends a lot of time watching Raleigh and wondering how he does it. Chuck let his magic build up for years, it’s true, but it never turned sour on him. It never festered into something painful and swollen.

He wonders how long before the magic in Raleigh rots. How long before it’ll make an outlet for itself.

Raleigh asks him, hesitant and careful, what he had meant when he said they had different kinds of magic.

“There are different branches, yeah? Different types powered by certain forces in the world. The big three are Luck, Wish, and Karma. Luck is the most common.”

Raleigh nods. “How do you know?”

Chuck shrugs. “My mom told me. I can sense magic in people like you can. But each type has its own kind of signature about it if you can recognize it. Like I know Newt has Luck. I had Karma before I used everything in me.”

“Which one am I?” Raleigh asks, looking down at his hands.

“Wish,” Chuck replies, watching Raleigh’s face.

Raleigh nods slowly. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

Chuck hesitates a second. “Can I ask what happened?”

Raleigh tugs at a loose thread on his shirt. “I made a Wish for a fishing boat and lost my brother instead.”

Chuck nods because he expected something similar. 

That’s why Wish magic is the worst. There’s so much uncertainty in it. You have to know what you’re doing, and how you’re doing it. If you don’t, well… The cost is always equal to the value of the Wish.

Raleigh smiles at him without humor, and Chuck changes the subject. 

\----

“Do we still have Grammy’s journal on Wish magic?”

Herc looks up from his desk. “Yeah, I suppose I have it somewhere.”

Chuck sits down heavily in the chair across the desk. “I want to give it to Raleigh. At least let him borrow it.”

Herc’s eyes widen in surprise.

“He didn’t know how to word his Wish, and the price was high.”

“Knifehead.”

Chuck nods. “So he’s letting his magic just fester. It smells wrong, like it’s hurting him.”

Herc shakes his head. “Poor bloke. I’ll find it for you.”

“Thanks.”

Chuck appreciates then that his father has always been understanding about the magic thing despite not having anything significant of his own. The finer, complex details of it he doesn’t understand, but he had Angela first, and now he has Chuck to explain it to him.

\----

Chuck finds Raleigh in the afternoon, journal in hand. Raleigh smiles when he sees Chuck coming. 

“Hey, tell Tendo that mint doesn’t belong in icecream.”

“I don’t know, mate, I’m a fan of it myself.”

“You’re the odd man out here, Ral. Give in to it, my man,” Tendo proclaims with a grin, slapping Raleigh on the back.

Raleigh snorts. 

Tendo glances at Chuck. “What are you reading?”

“What? Oh. Uh, this is for Raleigh actually.”

Raleigh tilts his head in confusion. “What is it?” 

Chuck gestures over his shoulder. “Walk with me?”

Raleigh glances at Tendo, who waves him away. “Go on. I’ll take your leave as a sign of surrender on this debate.”

Raleigh grins as he stands up. “Not likely.”

They walk side by side through the halls for a few minutes before Raleigh waves a hand at the journal.

“So, what is it?”

He hands it over to Raleigh, who glances at the cover with a crinkled brow. 

“My grandmother kept a journal detailing everything she learned and knew about how Wish magic worked. She passed it down to my mother when they realized the kind of magic she had. I thought, maybe, it might help you.”

Raleigh is quiet for a long time, frozen in the hallway. 

“I know it hurt you before. I get that. But Ray, I can smell it rotting in you. Mate, I just want to help. You’ve got to let some of that magic go.”

Raleigh nods shakily. “Thanks, Chuck. I’ll read it.”

\----

Mako finds him that evening, sitting in the mess with Max at his feet. 

“Thank you.”

Chuck glances up in surprise. “What did I do?”

“The book, for Raleigh. I didn’t know how to help him, but the way his magic is… I can’t stand it.”

Chuck shrugs uncomfortably. “I’m his friend, too.”

“I know, and that means a lot to me. And to him.”

Mako leaves the way she came, and Chuck watches after her. She always had a way of confusing him.

\----

The next time Chuck sees Raleigh, he thinks he’s going to shake right out of his skin he’s shivering so hard. The conference call with the UN is going well, but Herc and Raleigh both keep sending him blatant looks of concern. He grits his teeth together to stop himself from snapping at them and to stop the chattering. 

Chuck zones out, staring at the pale blue of his fingernails, and doesn’t realize the meeting is over until someone’s hand lands, heavy and scaldingly hot, on his shoulder.

He jerks away from the touch with a hiss.

“Jesus, Chuck, you’re freezing,” Raleigh says, eyebrows knit together.

“No shit, Ray.” 

The conference room has cleared out except for Raleigh and Herc, who are hovering by him anxiously. Herc at least has the decency to pretend he’s being casual about it.

“I’m fine,” he tells them both, standing up.

His father looks dubious, but nods slowly. “If you’re sure. I have to go make sure Newt wrote down the specifics for what he needs in the lab.” 

“I’m fine, dad. They just have the AC up too bloody high, that’s all.” 

It’s a lie, and an obvious one, but Herc lets him have it. 

Raleigh stands with him as they watch his father leave, before he turns back to Chuck with a frown. 

“Are you always this cold?” 

Chuck grins unhappily. “I was wrong. Maybe there was a price after all.”

Raleigh reaches out slowly, and presses a hand against the side of Chuck’s neck. Chuck flinches, but eventually the burn of it fades to a pleasant heat that radiates out from Raleigh’s palm.

“I Wish,” Raleigh starts, and the magic around him quivers in anticipation. 

“Don’t,” Chuck snaps. 

Raleigh lets the words die on his tongue, and the magic around him crackles. 

“I’ve had enough Wishes used on me, if it’s all the same to you,” Chuck says softly, leaning unconsciously into Raleigh’s hand and the warmth it offers.

“Okay,” Raleigh says, just as soft. “What would you rather I do?”

Chuck bites his lip uncertainly, before reaching up and taking Raleigh’s hand. Raleigh allows himself to be lead through the shatterdome back to Chuck’s bunk. Lets Chuck push him down onto the bed and take off his boots.

“Will you just…” Chuck doesn’t know how to ask.

Raleigh raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t look anything other than curious. Chuck kicks his own boots off, and crawls up the bed, forcing Raleigh to settle flat on his back. He curls into Raleigh’s side with a sigh, and Raleigh only hesitates a moment before tugging him in closer.

“I’m so cold all the time, Ray, and nothing I do seems to make it better.”

Raleigh doesn’t respond for a minute, rubbing Chuck’s arm under the sleeve of his shirt. “I’m sorry.”

Chuck shrugs, jostling Raleigh’s shoulder. “It’s better than the alternative.”

Eventually, the gentle drag of that hand over the skin of his arm and Raleigh’s warmth lulls him to sleep, despite it being mid-afternoon. 

\----

It becomes something of a habit, after that. 

“You’re sure you don’t mind?” Chuck asks again, shuffling into Raleigh’s bunk with a blanket draped around his shoulders.

“I don’t mind, Chuck. Now, go lie down. You’re shivering.”

“That happens,” he replies, crawling into bed and pulling the rest of the blankets over himself with shaking hands.

Raleigh ambles around the room, straightening things out, before he grabs Chuck’s grandmother’s journal off the table and climbs into bed.

Chuck rolls into him with a sigh, burrowing as close to Raleigh as he can get. Raleigh opens the journal. 

“So, this part here,” Raleigh asks quietly, pointing to a paragraph of elegant script. “What does she mean by ‘reverence for the forces you use’?”

Chuck yawns, before looking at the passage he’s referring to. “It’s the base for how you get your magic to respond the way you want it to. Karma was always a give and take, yeah? If I put something good in, I would get something good out. That’s how you build it up, use it the way you want. Luck, you just have to have the right perspective. Optimism is a powerful force in itself. You put that out in the world, and it helps everyone. Wish, though, Wish wants respects. Demands it. Wish is doing you a favor, and you have to know it. A healthy dose of fear of her wouldn’t hurt either.”

Raleigh hums thoughtfully, and goes back to reading. 

“Is it helping any?” Chuck asks, tucking his head in under Raleigh’s chin.

“We’ll see, but I think so,” Raleigh says softly. 

\----

His teeth are chattering so hard he thinks he’s in danger of biting off his tongue. He sees Raleigh standing in the hallway, talking with Tendo and Mako, and he doesn’t even think about it as he crashes into Raleigh’s chest. He buries his cold nose into Raleigh’s neck.

Raleigh flinches a little in surprise, but doesn’t move out of range. He doesn’t even pause in whatever he’s saying to the other two.

Chuck doesn’t bother paying attention, just tries not to shake Raleigh with his shivering.

That becomes something of a habit, too.

\----

Chuck knows how it looks. 

He never had to make the walk back to his own bunk in the morning before. He never wore stupid knit jumpers before. He was never one for physical contact before.

So, he knows how it looks. Wrapping himself around Raleigh any time the air-conditioning kicks on in sweaters that are just slightly too long on his arms.

Raleigh hadn’t seemed bothered by what conclusion people might draw the one time Chuck felt brave enough to bring it up. And Chuck… Well, the only problem Chuck has with it is that it isn’t true, and he wants it to be. 

He wants Raleigh to turn on that sly smile he wears when he’s about to be a little shit and say, “There are a lot of other ways to stay warm in a bed besides spooning.”

He wants Raleigh to drape himself across Chuck’s back and work him over slow and careful.

He wants to settle between Raleigh’s legs and be held in place by those ridiculous thigs.

He wants to sleep in Raleigh’s bed seven nights a week. He wants Raleigh to want him to. He wants to wake up every morning to Raleigh’s sleep warm, soft smile.

Chuck doesn’t know what Raleigh wants though. Doesn’t know how to ask, so he’ll take what Raleigh offers him. He’ll get up in Raleigh’s space as much as Raleigh tolerates. He’ll sleep in Raleigh’s bed twice a week. He’ll help explain the finer details of the journal. 

He’ll try not to be found wanting more than offered.

\----

The thing is, he kind of feels like he’s getting more from Raleigh than he’s giving in return. Karma taught him a lot of things, and he knows it should be equal. The very idea that he’s not pulling his weight in what should be a symbiotic relationship rankles him. 

Raleigh seems oblivious to this fact, which Chuck is grateful of. The exact opposite of what he wants is Raleigh’s resentment. 

He starts a subtle campaign to even it up. He buys coffee for Raleigh in the mornings. He writes out some of the more important aspects they learn about how to use Wish magic properly. He gets him a couple new sweaters to replace the ones he’s indefinitely borrowed. 

Raleigh smiles at him, genuinely pleased, whenever he does these things. If Chuck’s heart stutters in his chest, well sometimes it just does that. It doesn’t have anything to do with Raleigh’s stupid smile, or how his eyes go all soft. 

Not a thing to do with any of that.

\----

Somehow, he’s still surprised the first time someone refers to them as a couple.

He’s eating lunch on his own when Tendo sets his tray down with a clatter. 

“Where’s your better half?”

It takes Chuck a second to parse out that he means by that, but when he does he just snorts.

“He’s hanging out with Mako today.”

Tendo nods wisely. “The strongest relationships are ones where you can do things on your own.”

“He’s not my boyfriend, you know,” Chuck says, as disappointing as he finds it.

Tendo waves his hand dismissively. “I get it, no labels.”

“Seriously, mate, we’re just friends.”

Tendo frowns. “Yeah?”

Chuck nods. “Yeah.”

“Huh.”

Chuck shrugs, and Tendo lets it go with a shrug of his own.

Chuck tells Raleigh about the whole thing that night, tucked under Raleigh’s chin as warmth spreads through his body for the first time all day.

“Newt said something similar the other day,” Raleigh says distractedly, flipping through the journal.

Chuck still isn’t sure if it’ll be enough, but he thinks the magic around Raleigh seems like it’s less insidious.

“Did he?”

Raleigh shrugs as much as he can with Chuck half on his chest. “Yeah. I corrected him, but he kept saying it. I don’t think he believed me.”

“Tendo was pretty skeptical too,” Chuck admits.

Raleigh seems unconcerned. “There are worse things they could think.”

Chuck isn’t sure what that’s supposed to _mean_.

\----

Some mornings, he wakes up, and he can hardly breathe through the water that’s collected in his lungs. Just when he’s thinking he can move passed the whole thing, the Ocean reminds him where he came from, and eventually where he’ll belong. 

Other mornings, he’s so cold he doesn’t think he can move. He only begs into Raleigh’s bed a few times a week. He won’t make a nuisance of himself. The mornings after ones where he wakes in Raleigh’s room are always the worst. Raleigh’s borrowed jumpers help sometimes, but it’s not really enough. Not a substitute for the borrowed heat Raleigh gives him by pressing close in the night.

And then other mornings, he wakes and his heart is loud and heavy in his chest. Like it forgot how much pressure is required to pump something other than saltwater in the brief time it was doing so. He bleeds red. The doctors have drawn blood from him. He knows this. Sometimes though, it’s like his heart forgets. 

Sometimes when he’s freezing cold, and he can’t breathe, and his heart is pounding, he thinks it might have been better if Karma hadn’t intervened at all.

\----

He wakes up with that feeling like he can’t breathe. It’s never happened while he’s been sleeping in Raleigh’s room before. He sits up fast, lurching out of Raleigh’s grip because being upright usually helps.

He can feel the gurgling in his chest, and he taste the saltwater on his tongue.

“Are you okay?” Raleigh asks groggily, sitting up too.

Chuck shakes his head, coughing. 

“I’m fine,” Chuck wheezes, when he has the breath to. He sits there quietly with Raleigh hovering anxiously by him until the feeling fades.

Raleigh rest his forehead against Chuck’s shoulder blade. “You should let me help you. I could help.” 

Chuck shudders. “I don’t want to cost you anything. I won’t do it.”

“That’s what the journal is for, right?” Raleigh argues, sitting up and moving around so he can look at Chuck’s face imploringly. 

Chuck shakes his head. “Why don’t we start with smaller things, first, yeah?”

Raleigh makes a frustrated noise in the back of his throat. “I want to help _you_ , I don’t want smaller things.”

Chuck reaches out and cups Raleigh’s cheek. He’s sure his fingers are freezing against the warm skin of Raleigh’s face, but Raleigh doesn’t move away from his hand. “I didn’t give you that journal so you could fix me, do you understand? Small things first, let your magic heal. The rest can wait, yeah?”

“What if it can’t wait?” Raleigh asks seriously, turning his face into Chuck’s palm. He closes his eyes, but not before Chuck can see the worry there.

The problem is, Chuck doesn’t really have an answer for that. He _isn’t_ sure it can wait. Some days are worse than others. He’s not going to let Raleigh do anything he’s not ready for, though. His magic is getting better, but it still has that sickly feel to it that makes Chuck hurt for him.

And there’s nothing Chuck can give him in return for something like that. Raleigh would never hold it over him, wouldn’t think anything of it, but Chuck grew up with Karma. He doesn’t know any other way. There would never be enough little things that could add up to that.

Chuck leans in to rest his forehead against Raleigh’s. “Please, just let it wait.”

\----

Mako approaches him while he’s doing sit-ups in the kwoon. Eventually, he’ll have to figure out how to work through the problems he has. No better time to start than the present.

She sits down cross-legged by him, and watches him for a second.

“He is worried, you know.”

Chuck considers, for a moment, playing dumb. Pretending he doesn’t know who she’s talking about, but that would do them both a disservice. He sighs and sits up to face her.

“I can’t stop him from worrying.”

“You could, though.”

Chuck runs an agitated hand through his hair. “You can’t possibly think it’s good idea for him to use magic he hasn’t used in years on something so complex. His magic is still dying in him, Mako. He needs to use it, sure, to let it some. It’s going to take time for that. As much as I would love to, there’s one thing I can’t promise him and it’s time. I want him to be healthy. His magic isn’t healthy. I won’t let him use it on me before, but I can’t promise that I have the time to wait for that. So, I won’t make any promises at all.”

She frowns at him. “You think Karma brought you back to die? She spent all that time negotiating with the Ocean, building you a new form from scratch, just to let you die here from pneumonia?”

“I don’t know, Mako! When the water rises in my lungs like the fucking tides, and I can’t stay warm to save my life, and my heart beat stutters in my chest, it kind of feels like she did. I won’t dishonor her by blaming her, or being ungrateful. I appreciate what she did for me. I appreciate that she went through all that trouble, but maybe she set it up so I could make things right here. So I could fix my relationship with my old man. With Raleigh. With _you_. Maybe it was never meant to be a permanent solution. If all I have is a chance to make amends, I’ll take it. I’m lucky to have gotten that much.”

Mako shakes her head. “Karma is just, not cruel. She would not do that. You don’t have to let him use his magic on you now. I wouldn’t suggest it. The way it is, who knows how it will react, but when he’s better. When it’s settled and right. That’s what he wants.”

Chuck snorts. “He almost used it on me weeks ago before I stopped him. He doesn’t want to wait.”

She shrugs. “You are hurting. Can you blame him? If the situation was reversed, tell me you would not act the same.”

\----

Raleigh hugs him when they talk about it later. 

“Thank you,” he says, face pressed into Chuck’s neck.

“I should be thanking you. This is all backwards, mate.”

Raleigh just shakes his head, and doesn’t say anything. 

“I’m serious though, Raleigh. Not until your magic is better. You’re my first concern here.”

Raleigh pulls back to look at him. “And you’re mine, but I’ll respect that if only because I know it could hurt you more than help if it’s as sickly as it is now.”

Raleigh stares at him, brushing his hair to the side. The air in the room feels thick with anticipation. Chuck stares right back. He thinks he’d hold his breath if his breathing wasn’t already suspect. Raleigh’s eyes drop down to his lips, and he leans in slowly, like he’s giving Chuck a chance to back away. 

The kiss, when it finally happens, is gentle and sweet. It feels familiar. Like this is the natural progression of things. What else would happen now?

Chuck has never wanted anything more. 

Despite all the times they have now shared a bed, there’s always been layers of clothes between them. Partially for modesty, partially because Chuck’s hyper aware of how cold his bare skin must feel against Raleigh’s. It’s almost weird to end up there now.

Chuck drags a hand carefully down Raleigh’s chest, and Raleigh twitches under his touch.

“Sorry,” Chuck says, drawing away.

Raleigh reaches for him, pulls his hand back into place. “It’s okay, Chuck. Keep going. Please.”

Chuck leans down to kiss him, and Raleigh arches up into it. Chuck warms up pretty fast after that.

\----

Chuck thought he had accepted dying before. Thought when he nodded at Stacker in Striker that he was ready. That he was at peace as he would ever be.

He was wrong because this is it here. This is as peaceful as he’s ever been, Raleigh asleep next to him with an arm thrown over Chuck’s waist to keep him close. He’s warm, and his heart is actually working, and he can breathe. 

He thinks that if Karma only gave him a temporary life, it would be okay. He’s had the chance to be truly happy. The only problem now is he knows it would hurt Raleigh. It would hurt his father, and Mako. 

Funny, when he might finally accept it for himself, he can’t because for the first time since his mother died he cares too much about the other people in his life. 

\----

Raleigh spends most of his free time after that pouring over the journal, reading every word carefully, asking Chuck about things to make sure he understands it. 

“It says here magic can be combined?” Raleigh questions, tapping the page in question.

Chuck furrows his eyebrows. “I hadn’t known that.”

He hooks his chin over Raleigh’s shoulder to read it himself. “Huh. I’ll add that to our notes, shall I?”

Raleigh smiles at him, and goes back to reading.

\----

Chuck thinks he’s getting worse. 

He thinks Mako knows without him having to say. She frowns at him, like she can hear the pounding of his heart. He smiles at her, though it’s more of grimace, and gives her a ‘what can you do’ shrug. That only makes her frown harder. 

He doesn’t tell Raleigh. He’s not sure if it’s mercy or cowardice that makes him stay quiet.

\----

It was only a matter of time, honestly.

He wakes up in the middle of the night with his heart _racing_ , absolutely pounding in his chest, and short of breath.

He sits up, trying to breathe, as Raleigh mumbles sleepily into the sheets. He sits there for a minute, but it doesn’t fade like it normally does. He gets up and paces the room, trying not to wheeze. Trying not to wakeup Raleigh. Trying to calm his damn heart. He’s shaking, and for once it isn’t to do with temperature.

“Shit,” he whispers, standing in the middle of the room with a hand pressed into the middle of his chest. 

“Chuck?” 

He hears Raleigh climbing out of bed behind him, and he draws in a shaky, unhelpful breath. 

“I think,” he says, before pausing to breathe. “I should go to medical.”

Raleigh turns on a light and is at his side in an instant, holding his elbow and peering into his face. Chuck tries not to pant. 

Raleigh curses before helping Chuck into a sweater and his boots. 

“What about-“ Chuck tries to say, gesturing at Raleigh’s bare feet.

“Forget my damn shoes, let’s go.”

Chuck follows Raleigh blindly, trying not to squeeze too tightly to the hand in his.

“Raleigh,” he says quietly.

“It’s okay, Chuck. You’re okay.”

“’kay,” Chuck replies.

“Yeah?”

Chuck thinks, ‘No’. He thinks, ‘I’m sorry’. He thinks ‘Mako made me believe I had time, but I knew better. I promised you I had time, and this is exactly why I didn’t want to do that’. Chuck can’t find the air to say more than Raleigh’s name, though, so he doesn’t say any of that. He thinks it, desperately, at the back of Raleigh’s head as he leads them carefully through the halls.

He just squeezes Raleigh’s hand, hard, and doesn’t say anything else.

\----

The doctors hook him up to machines, and stick a mask over his face for oxygen. Chuck tries not to panic. He tries to calm his racing heart through force of will.

Raleigh, who’s been telling the doctors about Chuck’s symptoms since Chuck can’t fucking breathe to do so himself, squeezes his hand and leans down close over him to whisper in his ear.

“I’ll be right back, okay? I’m going to go find your father and tell him you’re here.”

Chuck shakes his head, and thinks, ‘please don’t leave me’.

“I promise I’ll be right back. Five minutes max, okay? I’ll run.”

Raleigh pulls his hand out of Chuck’s and Chuck thinks, ‘I don’t want to die without you here’, but Raleigh gives him one last promise, and disappears out the door. 

Chuck watches him go helplessly, and feels like his heart beats faster without him there.

\----

Chuck blinks once and then hears the doctors talking fast above him. He doesn’t think Raleigh will make it back in time.

Then, he hears Raleigh and his father talking, urgent and loud.

At some point, he hears Mako, too. 

Eventually, there’s nothing but silence.

\----

“I had no intention of things turning out the way they did,” Karma tells him, standing on a familiar beach he hasn’t been to in years. 

He stares at the horizon and shrugs. “It’s okay. You did more than I could have asked you for.”

“But did I?” she asks.

Chuck shrugs again because he doesn’t know. He knows how Karma works, but not the limitations she has. He’ll always assume the best of her.

“I don’t blame you, if that’s what you’re worried about. I blew myself up, and you gave me the chance to fix things in my life.”

They stand in silence for a beat.

“The Ocean wants me back?” Chuck asks, just to be sure.

He doesn’t have to look to see Karma nod. “She does.”

“Okay.”

Karma turns to him, and touches his cheek. “She cannot have you yet.”

“Not sure I have much of a say.”

Karma smiles, blindingly white. “No, _you_ don’t.”

With that, Karma places her hand over his eyes and leans in. “Sleep.”

Chuck does.

\----

He wakes up and everything is quiet. He watches the heart monitor he’s hooked up to blink. The reading on it looks normal. Not his normal, but actually normal. He can breathe. He doesn’t feel cold.

He makes to sit up, startled and anxious because where is Raleigh? What did he _do_?

“Hey, whoa there. Stay down, yeah? Have to say, you gave us quite the scare,” his father says, leaning in from the chair at his bedside to place a calming hand on Chuck’s shoulder.

Chuck lets his father press him gently back. “Where’s Raleigh?”

“Sleeping, hopefully. I spelled him and Mako a few hours ago. They were both reluctant to leave after everything, but I promised I’d let them know if anything changed. They need their rest, though, so it’ll be just between the two of us that you’re awake and I didn’t immediately go get them, yeah?”

Chuck takes a long time to process all that, and it still doesn’t exactly make sense. Chuck goes back to sleep because that’s easier.

\----

Raleigh is there the next time he wakes up. He notices the change in Raleigh immediately. His magic smells strong, like it should have all along. Chuck takes a minute to just stare at him.

“You fixed it,” Chuck says, and Raleigh jumps, looking up from the book in his lap.

“Hey. Jesus, Chuck,” Raleigh scoots forward in the chair so he can grab onto Chuck’s hand. “I thought I was too late.”

“What did you do?” 

Raleigh smiles at him. “I made a Wish. In the journal, the part that talked about combining magics, I got Mako to help. She has Karma and Luck. I figured I had enough stored up, and if Mako could use some of her Luck to make it work right, we could use it even if it was a little sickly. We spent over an hour trying to figure out the best way to do it, but we got it right, in the end.”

“I can’t thank you enough,” Chuck says, squeezing Raleigh’s fingers.

“I owe you a little myself. I hadn’t realized how much my magic was hurting me until it wasn’t anymore. I haven’t felt this good in years. I think we’re even.”

Chuck isn’t sure if that’s true or not, but he smiles anyway. Raleigh presses a kiss into the back of his hand.

“I hope you won’t ditch me now that you don’t need a personal furnace anymore.”

Chuck grins, relieved. “Of course not, mate. I love you, ya know?”

Raleigh smiles softly. “That’s good. I love you, too.”

“That’s good. What are you reading?”

Raleigh shows Chuck the cover.

“Read to me?” Chuck request, settling back more comfortably in the pillows.

Raleigh laces their fingers together, and opens the book.

Chuck thinks he can feel Karma smiling at them.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! :)


End file.
